My strange currently developing tale is very disturbing to me. Now hopefully in the telling I will release my insecure thoughts to the 4 winds. Perhaps in the hope of some kind of solace & reprieve before this nights dawn will break. This is just a very small interlude into my life and perhaps at the impending end of it now, you will be left deeply offended by my past behavior. Please don’t venture any further if you are at all squeamish or sensitive.
It is important to know that i am a great majestic tiger hunter, a mighty man, in my trade being anything but brave in the face of slaughter is not acceptable. And i am the bravest of my ilk.
Triggers of full and complete understanding of past conduct are never logical. One simply has an initial train of understanding - then within an instant of time, our clarity of a past deed is triggered along a completely opposite track of thought.
My immediate understanding trigger hit me when paging through a December 2011 national geographic magazine. Page 82 to be exact. The proceeding article to the what i now understand as a profound trigger was of deep moral virtue. So when page 82 arrived i was completely ambushed in my mind.
Perhaps let me briefly explain to those reading this who i am. I come from a very long line of proud wild tiger hunters. My family has been hunting this majestic creature for many centuries now. Over the years there has been many methods of hunting – however it is common knowledge the tiger is drawn out by the frightening howls, cries of a pure animal paralyzed with intense fear. As mighty hunters we know this anomaly very well – so we look for these sad pathetic creatures amongst the everyday animals around our village. A puppy, a lamb, something that will make sufficient noise to draw out this incredible animal to the sound and smell of raw fear.
A tiger you see is a being like no other – it has no equal amongst living creatures, it has no fear really of anything. Some say it is not a living entity, they put spiritual connotations onto this lethal night shadow. Because the stealth at which such a huge powerful creature moves – it is said that it is scientifically impossible to move with such a complete silence.
Sometimes we as hunters must bait the trap several times during the night because 1 minute you hear the hysterical screams of absolute fear, the next absolutely nothing.
It’s really the sudden immediate complete silence that grips you more than the frightening build-up of absolutely petrified screams in the dark night.
When rebaiting the trap, we often notice not a blade of grass has been disturbed. – it’s like a mist of diabolic energy has stealthily grasped the trap bait and completely vanished into thin air. The lingering smell of a relieved frightened animal is all that remains. The reality of a tiger is you can be a few feet from this huge, majestic creature, and you would not know it was even there. There is a certain hint of a unique smell one would perhaps perceive – however only the well trained to detect these things would register this. It’s a stench like rancid perfume really. A unique musk type scent inducing fear, the smell of herbs and rotting flesh. Not unpleasant but obvious to a trained great tiger hunter like me, I can perfectly detect its presence with dead accuracy.
I first started noticing this exact smell a few months ago – some nights the smell was overpowering, others a hint but nothing ever visible. I searched, tiger slaying instruments and weapons in hand. I searched for the source of this unique tiger smell – however nothing I could ever see. No evidence was present other than the waft of a full-grown tiger within a few feet from where I sat, stood or was lying down. With no tangible evidence I was convinced a trick was being played on me. The slow uneasiness of considering I had picked up a tiger night shadow stalker. was a completely ludicrous notion.
A Night shadow stalker is an old myth from times gone past – whereby for many months the hunter becomes the primal hunted. It must be a myth because I live on the 3rd floor complex, in a very built-up city, far from the nearest wild tiger range. For any tiger to get to me it would be completely impossible to reach me undetected through the city streets. So, this smell I perceive out of thin air must be a cunning trick, a conjurer’s sleight of unsettling hand.
I have made many enemies over the years, so any number of these vengeful types could be using my hunting prowess and skills to try unsettle me.
They say you only see the night shadow stalker the split second before it rips your throat out. The attack is so seamless and powerful you might as well have been hit by a 100 mile an hour freight train while going about your nightly routines.
So, you can fully understand my absolute surprise when last night I awoke to the musky herb, off flesh rancid smell and cold yellow eyes of a full grown 800-pound tiger. Silently staring at me through the pale moon dark night. My first reaction was to immediately soil myself and a feeling of absolute raw panic so overwhelming overtook my entire body. Fear is really a terrible element to have to deal with, adrenaline and the sudden onset of complete paralysis and extreme shivers are immediate. Nothing in life can prepare you for that exact visceral moment of pure complete vulnerability. This gut wrenching experience has convinced me, that I was a split second away from being completely slaughtered. Only to then look around in my own soiled stench, tears and sweat to realise, I was completely alone once again in my small 3rd floor room. Whatever I had seen had completely slinked away into the pale moon lit night.
I Immediately locked myself in my tiny bathroom and stayed hidden the entire remaining early morning. In this state of renewed understanding and deep shock, I start now to remember each creature used as cruel bait in my relentless pursuit of this majestic tiger. I’m not a sentimental man in any wayl, as death stalks us all, but I started to feel a deep sense of dread for the very limited cruel man I used to be. This current complete fear in me awoke a sense of extreme anxiety and guilt that is now relentless in its pursuit of my awoken conscience. Those yellow cold eyes of silent condemnation burnt into the very back of my skull. It is now all too much at once really.
This afternoon has been better than the morning– but I’m completely petrified to face the onset of sleep in my apartment once again – the hint of a lingering musk herb, rotten flesh rancid smell wafts through my private space as I currently write this, turning my stomxh content to water. I am now far to afraid for the encroaching night – the screams of each innocent animal I trap baited reverberates right this second in my brain, the sound has instilled a palpable fear so intense I am really struggling to cope, anxiety so deep. i am currently sweating from every pore and not far from the toilet.
The night has now arrived, I thought of locking myself in my bathroom again, a determined tiger will easily get in. I must run , keep moving. writing this letter will be the only tangible last living thought of mine left to give. I am deeply sorry for my insensitive actions whilst hunting tigers, to all the beautiful creatures i cruelly used as bait, im am derply sorry.
It is the shadow night tiger that has come to now condemn me. To my relatives my warning is now very clear. I’m sure i won’t make it through this very dark night here in my flat, I leave this letter, so you don’t need to worry about me. I will be fleeing the city immediately – catching a freight train as far as the rail goes. A destination I don’t want any enemies to be aware of.
As dusk now approaches the deeply haunting condemnatory yellow eyes are piercing me through the impending pale moon evening. My time has now arrived to run – i will now try to outrun this night shadow stalker – i say farewell sig ............
